Saturday, June 1, 2013

alone....

i dont know....it is always the same thing...........

same confusion....same instability and wanting to hurt myself. i didnt...but just ....i dont know...i just feel like i feel more gross than ever....

i am sick of my emotions. i am sick of needing reassurance...but i do need that....

this could play a part in how im not okay with spirituality and faith issues still....i dont know

but it also hurts when a friend i knew for about ten years starts acting like she doesnt care about me anymore......(playing games)

and it hurts when i am learning to trust a few people still..... it hurts when this person takes it personally and possibly understandably so but it hurts when it seems like........no one understands me.......

i wonder what i should really do. how can i just get over things when i have unanswered questions about things. confused....i feel like i cant just do this on my own......

i just have an overwhelming feeling to hurt myself......but i wont...

my heart is broken cos im confused as to where things are headed in life....what is going on with me and others in my life....and i just feel heart broken because i never felt protected and they didnt listen to me.... i feel different than other girls and it hurts....... i want to be the same as them. i want someone to be worth what they are :'( i dont  know what im doing wrong....but i feel like im being punished for things. i feel like im punished if i like some affection, etc....

no one will ever like me enough to want to even stay with me ever....no one......

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